June 8, 2015
Being a missionary is the greatest thing I’ve ever done. It is amazing how much of a roller coaster ride this experience is. This week was a huge example of that, with all of its ups and downs. It started with the amazing up of going to the temple. There is nothing like the peace felt within the walls of the Lord’s house. As I prepared to enter the temple this time, I studied about sacrifice and how to more fully consecrate myself in the service of the Lord. I studied about how in ancient times, every single sacrifice made was in similitude of our Savior to consecrate themselves and become more fully in line with our Heavenly Father and His will. The same goes for everything we do in the church today. Everything we do is to fulfill our purpose of growing closer to and like our Father in Heaven through the sacrifice and grace of the Savior’s Atonement. This study and revelation while in the temple helped me to reassess where I am at right now and how I can grow closer to fulfilling my purpose as a missionary and on this Earth as a daughter of God. This, along with the trainings we had this week, I have recommitted to be more exactly obedient, and to be more strictly focused and consecrated to the Lord.
One incredible low this week was the number of people who cancelled appointments or didn’t open the door or told us not to come back. The hardest part is I love these people so much and I know they have so much potential to progress and become who the are destined to be, but the have their agency and often choose not to act on what is right. But we just keep working in faith and being obedient and the success will come.
Another low this week was the language. I was getting really discouraged because I wasn’t able to speak much and I haven’t been participating much in lessons because I don’t know what to say or how to say it. If I can’t teach, what’s the purpose of being a missionary? This was a thought that kept going through my head. Because of all my doubt, it just kept getting worse. I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself, in my Spanish, in my ability to do the work. These feelings brought me to my knees, as they often do.
After the low of not having many successful visits, we had an amazing lesson this week. We have been meeting with a part member family where the mom isn’t active, and her husband is interested and investigating the church. Their children aren’t members as well, so it’s a little bit of an ideal situation. It is a little hard to teach with all of the kids there, but we try our best, and we are focusing more on the parents right now. We have been using a lot of object lessons to keep them all interested and to spark conversation. We had a plant and talked about Alma 32 and faith being like a seed. At some point, this led to a conversation about baptism and the importance of this covenant. Hugo, the father, talked about how he had faith and knew he had to act on that faith. He knows that baptism is important, and that it’s something he wants to do, but he also realizes that it is a huge commitment that will change his life for eternity. We told him we would help him prepare to be ready to make this covenant and make the changes he needs to. He said that that is something he wants. The lesson was amazing, because of how ready this person is, and also because I took the lead, taught most of the lesson, and had this entire conversation with him, all in Spanish. It was the perfect ending to my week to balance out every one of the lows. I am so grateful for the Lord and for the things that he helps me to do. I love this gospel so much, and I love sharing it with His children here.
I love you all! I love the Lord and I know that he loves each of us and that is the most important thing. If we realize how much he loves us, we can’t help but love him and his son Jesus Christ. If we love them, then keeping the commandments will become a joy. There;s no reason not to. I know the Lord is just waiting to bless us. And he will. I know that I can do nothing without my Savior. One of my favorite scriptures is Alma 26:12, because it is soooo true, especially at this time in my life.